Aimless Artist Gifts

"Face it, William - you're shit at it!"

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

Man using to much bug spray

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

'I wish I was creative'

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

Children's Imagination

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.

'It wasn't premeditated.

"That'll be the day!"

"I've made a fortune as a successful artist! I couldn't see this happening if I became a soldier or a worker..."

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

"They need to come up with an app that will locate your glasses."

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

'Oh Rats! I can't be creative with a box of flat crayons!'

'I need to practice painting the human figure, MOM! Models cost money!"

"I spent locked out including my painting."

"Ed Lowry: Worst hunter ever"

"I've been an emerging artist for ten years now..."

This next song is about facing your fears, which I'll be playing on the ukulele.

'You said you went to night classes to draw birds, and when I asked whether they had clothes on and you said they didn't - you know I didn't expect this!'

Close... but no Degas.

"If you wish to see your artwork displayed, don't forget your bio."

Careers Fair

So You Want to be a Cartoonist?

Paint by number

"I can't help but feel I'm destined for something greater than having a job."