Aimless Adventurer Gifts

"Ed Lowry: Worst hunter ever"

End of Vacation Sally

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

Shoot For The Moon

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

You're never too old for ballet!

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

Desert Planet

'Pity you never have learned to sail...'

'Which arrow points to my office?'

"Phone, wallet, glasses... What am I forgetting?"

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

Senior Photos

'So where do you see yourself in five years?'

"Ice rink"

"Pace yourself, stay close to me and try not to have a heart attack."

"Face it, William - you're shit at it!"

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

"I'm a speaker and I'm lost. Which one of these rooms has the conference/seminar/convention/wedding that I don't remember the name of?"

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

'You are on a sickie you skiving little...'

Things to do today: Practice for long distance swim.

"I've lost my keys, my wallet and my iPhone! Frankly, I think MINE is the lost generation!"

"Tonight? I thought it was tomorrow night."