Aimless Adventurer Gifts

"Ed Lowry: Worst hunter ever"

End of Vacation Sally

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Shoot For The Moon

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

You're never too old for ballet!

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

Desert Planet

'Pity you never have learned to sail...'

'Which arrow points to my office?'

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

"Phone, wallet, glasses... What am I forgetting?"

Senior Photos

"Ice rink"

"I'm a speaker and I'm lost. Which one of these rooms has the conference/seminar/convention/wedding that I don't remember the name of?"

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

'So where do you see yourself in five years?'

Voice of GPS: 'Recalculating...'

"Pace yourself, stay close to me and try not to have a heart attack."

"Face it, William - you're shit at it!"

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

"Poop. I forgot my coffee mug was on the roof of the saucer."

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

'You are on a sickie you skiving little...'

Things to do today: Practice for long distance swim.

"I've just realised I forgot to record Bake Off. I'm going to have to go back!"