Awkward Artist Gifts

Uncomfortably open Mike night.

'He's all thumbs!'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

"God help us, it's that guy."

'It wasn't premeditated.

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Little Mermaid."

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

"Would you like to dance with me?"

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

Bob had a lot to prove – which happens when you're wrong most of the time.

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"Fascinating, a dollop of dog crap topped with jelly babies. yes, he's years ahead of his time."

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

Jesus snowblows a cloud.

'You've got to wonder what goes on in their heads...'

'- and I was so embarrassed last night, you danced like a man with two left fe----!!!'

"You smell like wet cardboard."

Idlewild.

"So, do you come nowhere often?"

Group therapy for the socially retarded.

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."