Ailment Aficionado Gifts

'I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for you... You're a hypochondriac.' 'Gasp! I knew it.'

"Of all my ailments, the one I come to see about is my favorite."

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Agility God

Hacking through ice in order to fish

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"Lovely dovetail."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Knights of the bedside table.

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Just the slippers is fine!"

Man indignant at having caught no fish

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

The latest in Eyewear.

'Frank, I think it's about time you bought another pair of boots.'

Knight walking a dog.

Four fishermen catch the same fish.

"Please mum - not the baby photos."

'It never fails. The mud's always one inch higher than my boots.'

"What, another live person?! Listen, do you have any computers over there I can speak with?"

"So, professor, in a post-industrial robotic universe, what would be the role of politicians?"

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

'Steeee-rike three!'

Knight school.

Banting in the Yeomanry

Remounts for the Yeomanry