Artisan Aficionado Gifts

Now at the Farmers' Market

Artisanal Milk

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

'Do you have any Cheese and Pickle?

"Lovely dovetail."

"I see you've got a new cheese counter."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

"The self-portraits of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo were influenced by the great artists of her time."

"I can now fetch anything you want - on Etsy."

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

Cavewoman knitting with wool from mammoth

Artisanal Pottery

Gentrification of the Fridge.

Cheesemaker

Billie Piper.

"Your father and I were hoping for something a little less artisanal."

A man working on a model airplane

"I spent twelve years making this. Where's MY award?"

"The innocence seems forced."

"Jeffrey makes all our furniture himself."

Worst Coloring Book EVER. . .

Artisanal Everything, Inc,

"Fidelity, Ellen, stifles creativity."

"I only drink Arts and Crafts beer."

'Ideally, I'd like to work with my hands.'

"Just how long has Murray been retired?"

Frankenstein's monster on sale at the arts and crafts fair.

"Can't beat that super glue for sticking power, huh?"

'I finally found something I can do with my short arms...'

Gentrification of the fridge