Ai Paranoid T-Shirts

"The photocopy machine has become self aware and is trying to kill me."

"Welcome to the future"

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

No Immediate Danger

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

"You dropped yer wallet."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"He says he's not running away. . . he's just going off the grid."

"I removed the AI software from your computer and I can see now that you're a blithering idiot."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

'Under new business, is anyone wearing a wire?'

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?'

"That's what I get for using artificial intelligence."

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

AI Threat to Democracy

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

'You post intimate details on Facebook, you want to be followed on Twitter, you send out dozens of selfies a day, yet you're paranoid about your computer's camera?'

Caterpillar Paranoia

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

It's 10PM. Do you know if you're under electronic surveillance from a spy satellite?

"Are the ingredients real?"

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

We have control of you brain.

CREEPY AF AI

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

"I have this nagging feeling that cartoonists are everywhere, drawing everything I do."

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'I'm not a guru. I just came up here until the ebola scare goes away.'