Ai Paranoid Pillows

"The photocopy machine has become self aware and is trying to kill me."

"Welcome to the future"

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

No Immediate Danger

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"You dropped yer wallet."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"I removed the AI software from your computer and I can see now that you're a blithering idiot."

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

'Under new business, is anyone wearing a wire?'

"That's what I get for using artificial intelligence."

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?'

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

AI Threat to Democracy

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

Caterpillar Paranoia

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

CREEPY AF AI

It's 10PM. Do you know if you're under electronic surveillance from a spy satellite?

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

"Are the ingredients real?"

We have control of you brain.

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'I'm not a guru. I just came up here until the ebola scare goes away.'

"Will you shut up about world domination and just make the damn coffee."