Agriculturists Gifts

US Farmers Leaving the Dark 80's for the bright 90's

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Milking the Cow.

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

A Tumble Cow

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

Biodiversity

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

Who knew grass migrates?

"You're famous, Angus."

Land of the Average Sized Cows!

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

"Relax. They're just crows."

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

"We fear no more for today is our Independence Day!"

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

300 cows in a field...grazing!

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

Farmer Christmas.

An English Gold Field

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

'Ooops. Look at it this way: you won't have to worry about bee mites infesting your colonies now.'