Agricultural Absurdity Gifts

Agricultural Failures: Hydroponic Livestock.

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

Barcode Dreams

'Oh Hi!'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'The cow that jumped over the moon, was she on some kind of growth hormones?'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'Not as easy as it looks?"

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

They're Brazillian!

'See, I told you this electric fence would come in handy.'

'AAAAH! MILK LEECH!'

"Is that a new watch?"

'The fruiter surmised that the zineb caused catface.'

'That's a definite 'no' to us being a zombie then?'

Cow Fishing on the mighty tundra.

'Mmm thanks for the delicious blueberry lolly chaps.'

'Will someone fetch me that new dairy maid?'

Production in times of pandemic

A toaster plays fetch

"When you've been farming as long as I have,you just kinda know when a cow's ready for milking."

"Frank! You're early! I never wanted you to see me like this!!"

Number 1, check your grass to air ratio!

"Oh no. Not the niblets."

'I've told him a little blue spot would do fine, but he does like to express himself.'

"Farmers are always complaining about the amount of paperwork that Europe generates...but if you use your imagination then you can turn it to your advantage!"

Man crawling on desert see a dry cleaners in distance.

Bar Code Harvester