Agribusiness Guru Gifts

"To be fair, you each must lose 50 pounds..."

The Jeopardy of Progress

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

"Sir, what is your position on the issue of banana control?"

A collective sigh of relief.

Money down the drain.

"Looks promising. I just hope you aren't leading us down the garden path again."

A Second Stimulus is Coming,

World hunger

'I don't know if she's gonna be much good. I don't think she's even registered.'

'I'm pretty sure this means the price has finally hit bottom.'

'I'm an economist, but I try not to take myself too seriously.'

"Stocks tanked in the face of positive economic news just to mess your mind, dude!"

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'

"Be confident. Don't let others determine your value."

'This is one way to 'round-'em-up!'

You just plant the seed, water it, and when it grows, you eat it --- I call it "agribusiness."

"Dear economists, we need a decision!"

"We quickly realized it was fruitless trying to compete, so now we work together and sell blended wool..."

God throwing books down to earth entitled "The Coming Recession".

"We represent a North Carolina trade association and we'd like to file suit against the Native Americans for introducing our clients to a certain agricultural product."

“UKRAINE FARM LAND PICK YOUR OWN”

A chill wind is blowing...

Rural sector feeding the banks money.

It's a little known fact that Einstein quit science and went into the cattle business.

'In this economy, I don't say anything without first saying, in this economy...'

Mega Brokers - StockPawn.

"I'm taking out two acres of pecan trees and putting in a fifteen-thousand-square-foot colonic-irrigation facility."

Paradigm Suicide

I was the barn cat until the farm went corporate.