Agribusiness Enthusiast Gifts

'Sorry, boys, but I have to let you go - we're switching from cows to soybeans!'

'I'm pretty sure this means the price has finally hit bottom.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Milking the Cow.

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

300 cows in a field...grazing!

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

'Thanks to a little genetec engineering, we can merchandise these fish right on the farm.'

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

Snowman carrot substitute.

"Good news. Pork bellies just dropped four points."

Branding Consultant

Farmer's credit.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

Free Range Cows.

Hog magazine with litters to the editor dept.

"Looks promising. I just hope you aren't leading us down the garden path again."

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

COW. JUST COW.

"The only time he lets 'em out is when he wants the lawn mooing."

'I don't know if she's gonna be much good. I don't think she's even registered.'

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

"No need to be embarrassed. Eventually we all need a lanolin supplement."

A Protractor.

'Of course the Smiths have more than we do. His wife works.'

"Grandpa, if I ever decide to get involved in farming, it will be strictly as a commodities broker."

'I don't know what it is. It showed up right after I invented agriculture.'

The herd of hearing.

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'