Aging With Grace Enthusiast Pillows

"It's the second time this week he's mixed up his hairpiece with his hairball."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

Multi-Generational Books

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Parts Department

"We REALLY do get better with age."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"I noticed a few browns."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

Snail Pattern Balding.

Aging Problems

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"I come from the future."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

The Aging of Underwear

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'They want your underwear.'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'