Aging Grace Enthusiast Pillows

"Another year and another inch for your belt buckle."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

Multi-Generational Books

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

'Man...You age great!'

Breast Height Chart

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Old Karate Master

Snail Pattern Balding.

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"I noticed a few browns."

Aging Problems

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

Don't have a hot flush....

"I come from the future."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

The Aging of Underwear

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"He's got a great future behind him!"

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

'They want your underwear.'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'