Aging With Grace Enthusiast Gifts

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Multi-Generational Books

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Parts Department

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Aging Problems

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"I noticed a few browns."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

Snail Pattern Balding.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"I come from the future."

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

The Aging of Underwear

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

A senior moment.