Aging With Grace Advocate Gifts

You Are Here - Pampoos

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

Snail Pattern Balding.

"I noticed a few browns."

New Hampshire Minute

The Oaks: Breakfast And Back To Bed.

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"I come from the future."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

A senior moment.

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

'It's a pretty lame disappearing act Darling: I think we'd better hire a real Magician for Timmy's birthday party...'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'Of course I'll love you when you 'go grey'... Why shouldn't I... I've loved you through six other shades!'

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."