Aging Soccer Enthusiasts Gifts

'They wanted us to take the knee before kick off, but I was worried half of us might not be able to get up again'

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

Gary turns 40.

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

Mohamed Salah

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

Watching the football.

Football

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

Men can show their emotions!

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

Teenage Angst.

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Football player taking the ball home.

'How's the football?' 'Terrific. The coach says I'm one of the school's greatest drawbacks.'

A scarecrow goalie

Game time.

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

The Birth of Soccer

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'