Aging Gracefully Devotee Gifts

'It's not forgetting things completely that bothers me - it's remembering that I've forgotten to remember something that drives me mad!'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Multi-Generational Books

'Man...You age great!'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"I noticed a few browns."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Aging Problems

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"You're right, they are statins."

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

"Miriam keeps me young."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"He's got a great future behind him!"

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

A very fine vintage

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

The Aging of Underwear

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'