Aging Graceful Appreciator Gifts

"Tireless worker? Well, when I was young, yes, but not anymore I can tell you..."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Aging Problems

"I noticed a few browns."

The Final Selfie

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

Don't have a hot flush....

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

The Aging of Underwear

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

'They want your underwear.'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'I hate to break this to you, Clark, but your buns of steel have turned to jello.'

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

Aging Sign # 23: you're dehydrated and yet up peeing all night.

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

Four Stages of Christmas.

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

Middle-aged people spend a lot of time looking for things that they have 'lost'.....

Old Tortoise

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"How long before I have a dad body?"

'I can't leap tall buildings in a single bound like I used to.'

'Timmy, thirty is the new fifty.'

"I was on hormone replacement for two years before I realized I needed Steve replacement."

"Can you suggest something that will enhance my hairstyle?"

'She's determined to grow old gracefully.'