Ageless Wonder Pillows

'Listen Buddy! After the hot flushes I've been having this is like a resort!'

Do you think I'm sixty?

"She said she's looking forward to her 35th but she should be looking back on it..."

"I wouldn't let it get to you."

'Look man, no wings!'

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

"Bet you five bucks they both fall for the old 'zebra egg'."

You're never too old for ballet!

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

A balloon vendor hands a child his only 'good' face out of many,less than desireable faces.

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'....How many babies are you going to have, mommy?"

"Thanks for the painkiller mum, but how does it know which leg to go down?"

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

"They ruin the landscape!"

Senior Photos

'Tut, you've outdone yourself this time.'

"Not only do you look marvelous but all of you looks the same age."

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

Lollies

'The batteries must be dead.'

Taxes

'I've got a large disposable income.'

'If you've got a problem with the way I run things around here, take it up with my nanny.'

'I can't understand why I don't lose weight.. I walk five miles a day.'

OK, maybe our kid isn't cut out for lacrosse.

'You're in your nineties and still fancy women?' - 'Early nineties.'

Kevin was very houseproud and it showed.

'Could you help me? My parents are lost.'

'Are you the opposite sex, or am I?'

"To what do you attribute your longevity."

'No, I've got the same time as you. This thing must be running slow.'