Ageless Wonder Gifts

'Listen Buddy! After the hot flushes I've been having this is like a resort!'

Do you think I'm sixty?

"She said she's looking forward to her 35th but she should be looking back on it..."

"I wouldn't let it get to you."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

'Look man, no wings!'

"Bet you five bucks they both fall for the old 'zebra egg'."

You're never too old for ballet!

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

A balloon vendor hands a child his only 'good' face out of many,less than desireable faces.

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

"They ruin the landscape!"

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

'....How many babies are you going to have, mommy?"

"Thanks for the painkiller mum, but how does it know which leg to go down?"

'Tut, you've outdone yourself this time.'

Senior Photos

"Not only do you look marvelous but all of you looks the same age."

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."

Lollies

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

'The batteries must be dead.'

Taxes

'If you've got a problem with the way I run things around here, take it up with my nanny.'

'I've got a large disposable income.'

Kevin was very houseproud and it showed.

'I can't understand why I don't lose weight.. I walk five miles a day.'

'You're in your nineties and still fancy women?' - 'Early nineties.'

'Could you help me? My parents are lost.'

'Are you the opposite sex, or am I?'

"To what do you attribute your longevity."

'No, I've got the same time as you. This thing must be running slow.'

"These days I feel half naked without some electronic device stuck in my ear."