Ageless Beauty Admirer Pillows

"I'm so jealous. Joanne looks like she hasn't used up a single one of her 9 lives."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

Do you think I'm sixty?

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

Don't hate me becasue I'm beautiful.

The Angel's Share

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

Boring Untold Love Stories. Rip Van Winkle and Sleeping Beauty. ZZZZZZZZ.

Four Stages of Christmas.

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

'My boyfriend is meeting me when I hit the ground.'

"So what's your success rate?"

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"This will make the man in your life wonder where you went."

Butterfly Woman

'How do you expect me to remember. . . when every year you look younger?'

Senior dating disasters.

Jo's Beauty Salon. On vacation. Closed for Summer. That's when things got ugly.

Man Smoking

'Someone ought to tell Rapunzel about a good dandruff shampoo.'

"Not only do you look marvelous but all of you looks the same age."

Lauran Bacall

'Listen Buddy! After the hot flushes I've been having this is like a resort!'

Idealized portrait of a rooster.

I think I shall never see....a poem as lovely as a tr......

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'

"Despite her initial concerns, in time, Linda grew to appreciate the endearing qualities of Dan's sleep, sashaying."

As you like it - 'You can say what you want, the Ancient is always beautiful...' 'Yes, dear wife, in marble...'

Introducing... My Natural Hair Color!