Age-defier Admirer Pillows

'How do you expect me to remember. . . when every year you look younger?'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

Four Stages of Christmas.

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"In the late Cretaceous" "What do you mean, you're here for all of us at once?"

"Wow! That's a mean curveball."

"Now here's where she gets the military secrets."

"You're definitely in the top 1,000,000,000 people on this planet."

She IS a raisin

"Not only do you look marvelous but all of you looks the same age."

Another year older and you look as young as ever! Alcohol is a great preservative!

Out of order, Fountain of Youth

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'

"Wrinkles are the roadmap of a well lived life." "I think I've just found the M25."

'She was 50 years old and still didn't show her age...The same could not be said of her husband.'

I love Vintage

"For my bat mitzvah, my dad is getting me incorporated."

Wine: New! Old!

"I'm so jealous. Joanne looks like she hasn't used up a single one of her 9 lives."

'I used to be an old fogey, but now I'm post-modern!'

'People your age tend to overindulge themselves to death — we doctors call them 'suicide boomers.''

"I wish I had your legs."

Clark Gable

'Some of these are not birth marks...they're age spots.'

"When I started it was just a couple of small injections twice a week."

'Er...the botox injections of Dorian Gray?'

With your prematurely white fur, I had no idea you were so young. Have you heard of "Just for Wolverines" fur coloring?

Ok, doc, which one has the body of a man half his age, and more importantly, where did he bury it?

I just saw you on Youtube they've figured out how to reverse the effects of aging, in mice, with a compound called "Nad Plus." Does it bother you to know you'll be six feet under before the human trials are even don that that I'll still be here? It doesn't bother me at all, because I know it's going to be far too expensive for regular losers such as yourself. Your only hope is to buy a mouse costume and sneak into the lab, loser-boy. Not a bad idea.

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