Age-defying Enthusiasts Pillows

Another year older and you look as young as ever! Alcohol is a great preservative!

"No dear, you don't look 40. Those days are past."

Midlife: You Are Here.

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

The end of innocence

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

"Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade."

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'How do you expect me to remember. . . when every year you look younger?'

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"That's just the meds kicking in."

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'

'Why John, I remember you when you were this high.'

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

"They say you're only as old as your face."

Wrong shelf.

"We begin tonight with breaking news. LIFE has given a local teenager a rude awakening."

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'

'Isn't it funny how the older we get, the more we become like our mothers?'

"My mom and dad are still very sharp."

'Joe claims he shot his age today! He also claims he's eighty seven.'

Mobility Park.

"... Yes, the night is still young. Unfortunately, you're not."

Boy, Interrupted.

New ruling on ageism makes a difference.

'The only thing that gets easier as you grow older is getting tired.'

"No, we're not getting any younger, but why, pray tell, is that such a revelation to us?"

'I heard that as soon as we become aware of our sexual impulses, whatever they are, we'll have to hide them.'

Baldo fantasizes the Boys Department becomes the Men's Department after his first kiss with Smiley.

'Without surgery, you'll just have to accept jowls and a turkey neck as part of the aging process, Narcissus.'