Ageless Romantic Pillows

'You're in your nineties and still fancy women?' - 'Early nineties.'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

So Close..

Speed Dating for Turtles

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

Romance

'Cow in love'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Romantic Violinist.

Romance

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"I love you, you big fool."

Cupid and Targets

"Do you mind?"

I only have eyes for you

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

Stand-up Romcom

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

We make a Valentine's card out of edible flowers that's been dipped in chocolate. It's got EVERYTHING!

Frog flirting.

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"This will be hilarious!"

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Love linked

Happy Valentine's Day.

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

Holding hands