Age-defying Roller Pillows

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

The over 80s ain't what they used to be!

Still hip, but not much hop.

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

Wrong shelf.

"Awww! How long have you been married?"

Getting older isn't the same as growing up.

'Does your best friend have to come EVERYWHERE with us?'

We are 50 going on 15...

Down On My Luck

"And I think we can set the age limitations aside."

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

Roller-skates and Walking the Dogs

"When I turn 90, I am so experimenting with drugs."

"I win!" "You're amazing, grandma."

'People your age tend to overindulge themselves to death — we doctors call them 'suicide boomers.''

Woman Magazine -Look Younger; Teen Gal Magazine -Look Older

'Er...the botox injections of Dorian Gray?'

"I'm fifty-three, but I have the resume of a much younger man."

"I'm really an actor. I'm just doing this until I'm offered the right roll-er."

"This is cultural appropriation."

'I'll scream if one more person claps when I tell them how old I am.'

"He dribbles to the top of the key, he shoots, he... pulls a hamstring!"

"I'm 49, but that's 32 in Facebook years."

'This will teach you to lie about your age !'

'Park it over there and don't get jumpin' up on the stage - they've installed a stair lift for you - special like.'

'Spontaneous...senility'