Age-defying Roller Gifts

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

The over 80s ain't what they used to be!

She IS a raisin

Still hip, but not much hop.

'It's hard to tell if that's part of the routine or just rheumatism.'

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

Wrong shelf.

You are growing old

"Awww! How long have you been married?"

Getting older isn't the same as growing up.

'Does your best friend have to come EVERYWHERE with us?'

We are 50 going on 15...

Down On My Luck

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

"When I turn 90, I am so experimenting with drugs."

'People your age tend to overindulge themselves to death — we doctors call them 'suicide boomers.''

"I win!" "You're amazing, grandma."

"And I think we can set the age limitations aside."

Roller-skates and Walking the Dogs

Woman Magazine -Look Younger; Teen Gal Magazine -Look Older

I just saw you on Youtube they've figured out how to reverse the effects of aging, in mice, with a compound called "Nad Plus." Does it bother you to know you'll be six feet under before the human trials are even don that that I'll still be here? It doesn't bother me at all, because I know it's going to be far too expensive for regular losers such as yourself. Your only hope is to buy a mouse costume and sneak into the lab, loser-boy. Not a bad idea.

What's wrong, little buddy? Some stupid kid called me "old." I'm young! I've been young all my life! I'm good at it. I know all about being young. I've been young since way before he was even born. He's just jealous that I'm more experienced at it than he is. Might be time for us to have a little talk.

'Er...the botox injections of Dorian Gray?'

"I'm really an actor. I'm just doing this until I'm offered the right roll-er."

"I'm fifty-three, but I have the resume of a much younger man."

"This is cultural appropriation."

"He dribbles to the top of the key, he shoots, he... pulls a hamstring!"

'I'll scream if one more person claps when I tell them how old I am.'

"I'm 49, but that's 32 in Facebook years."

'This will teach you to lie about your age !'

'Park it over there and don't get jumpin' up on the stage - they've installed a stair lift for you - special like.'