Age-defying Dancer Pillows

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

The over 80s ain't what they used to be!

Still hip, but not much hop.

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

"What ever became of the days, Béla, when we all used to dance with wild abandon by the firelight."

"In your case we’ll begin the facelift with an incision behind your right ear and extend it into the waiting room."

"Awww! How long have you been married?"

You are growing old

Getting older isn't the same as growing up.

'Warning: Objects in mirror may bear no relation to reality'

'Mum, you just HAVE to stop lying about your age, otherwise everyone will think that you are younger than me!'

We are 50 going on 15...

'I want to look ten years younger.'

"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."

"I win!" "You're amazing, grandma."

"I didn't mean to imply your laugh lines are funny, Mrs. Carpentier."

"She thinks a cherry tomato makes her look younger, but she's not fooling anyone."

"I want just enough done that my phone will still recognize me."

"This one sounds hot - says he's a 'sexagenarian'!"

"The only way she can still be in her twenties is if her birthday is 29th February!"

"And I think we can set the age limitations aside."

'Met my sister for lunch the other day. She's actually beginning to show her age. Of course, not her real age.'

70 is the new 40