Age-defying Rocker Pillows

'Park it over there and don't get jumpin' up on the stage - they've installed a stair lift for you - special like.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

Thinning Hair/ Erectile Dysfunction/ One Foot in the Grave.

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

She IS a raisin

"It's a digital tattoo. It changes every time it's no longer age appropriate."

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

Optimistic Aging...

Still hip, but not much hop.

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

'Sorry boys, you're just not rock & roll enough for us.'

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

"75"

"Be honest- how does it look? I had to leave my laugh lines in for Bill."