Age-defying Rocker Pillows

'Park it over there and don't get jumpin' up on the stage - they've installed a stair lift for you - special like.'

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

Thinning Hair/ Erectile Dysfunction/ One Foot in the Grave.

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

'Sorry boys, you're just not rock & roll enough for us.'

"It's a digital tattoo. It changes every time it's no longer age appropriate."

"Be honest- how does it look? I had to leave my laugh lines in for Bill."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

Still hip, but not much hop.

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

"75"

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"