Age-defying Optimist Pillows

'No, being forty is not the result of an aging disease.'

Age Cannot Wither.

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"Don't worry, all the politicians are promising that we have a bright future ahead of us..."

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"Be honest- how does it look? I had to leave my laugh lines in for Bill."

Optimistic Aging...

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

"Room for bigger presents!"

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

Still hip, but not much hop.

She IS a raisin

"The side effects of this experimental medication are; happiness, improved eye sight and increased strength. . . Oh well, back to the drawing board."

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

Cup half full

"75"

"It's a digital tattoo. It changes every time it's no longer age appropriate."

'You know you're 40 when...'

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"