Afterlife Tourist Gifts

'Damn tourists!'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"It's true: no more burpees."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

The Reaper's Arms

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."