Afterlife Tourist Gifts

'Damn tourists!'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

"It's true: no more burpees."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

The Reaper's Arms

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'This is way better than a litter box.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."