Afterlife Economist Pillows

"You do realize selling your soul will be considered a capital gain."

'He's back! He just couldn't stand the idea of the stock market going up without him.'

"Eternity isn't so bad - as long as I can keep track of how my earthly investments are doing."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Call me?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"Surgery up here is free!"

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"All we have left is standing room only."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

'This is way better than a litter box.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."