Afterlife Speculators Pillows

"Well, according to the scuttlebutt we're dead."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'It's sad in a way -- just when he was declaring victory.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

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"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

Postcards from Heaven...

Gates of heaven

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Post-psychoanalysis

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'