Advertising Detectives Gifts

'Subliminal advertising, Alice, what did I tell you!'

"How come we call it spring water when they sell it all year long?"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Important Food Groups

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

News for Sale

Honesty in retail

Eat Beef

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Opp'y of a Lifetime

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

"Here's the marketing department's solution."

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

The United States' economy deflating.

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

SupermarketAwful Market.

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

I can now come clean. The person who secretly told me that Mitch McConnell loves Dr. Pimple Popper is … Hold it! Hold it? Commercial break. Nothing' says sexy like cholesterol.

Man selling lamb weekly