Adventurous Homebuyer Gifts

Open House of Horrors

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Talk about energy efficient...every lightbulb in this house will outlive you!"

The Day Dreamer.

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

Man bombarded by sale adverts in the media

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

'What's the difference between exchange-traded derivatives and swaps?'

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

It's nice, but we were hoping for something unfurnished.

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

'Jack and the Beanie stock'

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

"Love the exposed chessboard."

'I won't lie, it can get windy here.'

"Outdoor skills got a little carried away this year!"

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

Another over-do-it-yourself project.

Mildred takes a shortcut to the shops. . .

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

For Sale sign combined with Fruit Machine - 'House Price Lottery'

Home Ship Home

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

'I'm positive that 'Open House' sign pointed to next door.'

"I don't get it. How come it's so cheap?"

"We were leasing land to a guy running a truffle farm in france. He skipped out, but we were able to recover some of his assets."

'Sorry, no, but thanks for bringing a little laughter into my life.'

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

For Sale/Price Reduced.

Passer-by see sign in front of house: Buy one, get one free.

It's a buyer's market.