Adventurous Homebuyer Pillows

Open House of Horrors

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Talk about energy efficient...every lightbulb in this house will outlive you!"

The Day Dreamer.

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

Man bombarded by sale adverts in the media

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

'What's the difference between exchange-traded derivatives and swaps?'

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

'Jack and the Beanie stock'

"Love the exposed chessboard."

'I won't lie, it can get windy here.'

"Outdoor skills got a little carried away this year!"

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

Another over-do-it-yourself project.

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

Mildred takes a shortcut to the shops. . .

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

Home Ship Home

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

For Sale sign combined with Fruit Machine - 'House Price Lottery'

"We were leasing land to a guy running a truffle farm in france. He skipped out, but we were able to recover some of his assets."

"I don't get it. How come it's so cheap?"

'Sorry, no, but thanks for bringing a little laughter into my life.'

'I'm positive that 'Open House' sign pointed to next door.'

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

Passer-by see sign in front of house: Buy one, get one free.

For Sale/Price Reduced.

"Weren't they the people you lent the complete macrame book to?"