Real Estate Adventurer Gifts

"I decided to start flipping houses."

"We picked it up for a cantata!"

"We were leasing land to a guy running a truffle farm in france. He skipped out, but we were able to recover some of his assets."

'Damp. What damp?'

'I'm positive that 'Open House' sign pointed to next door.'

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

The Movers Strip - Airport at the end of the garden.

'I'm not moving to this area - it's full of miserable estate agents.'

"The flat was really cheap, but we forgot to check our the 'rights of way'."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Open House of Horrors

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'Can we call a realtor now?!'