Adventure Cooking T-Shirts

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

Man's cooking explodes.

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"I'm unable to process this image."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

"Habanero ..."

"What's cookin', Tia Carmen?"

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"What's the 'Chef's Surprise'? That's his reaction when you actually eat it."

Roadkill Restaurant

'It's an acquired taste!'

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."

'Have you been using that Hairy Bikers cookbook again'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

'You made me jump,'

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."

Beef Wellingtons

Lunch-Hour Highlights

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"I'm all for the internet of things - but I hate pop-up ads."

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."