Adventure Cook T-Shirts

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

Horn of Leftovers

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

I made you a cake!

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

The Inexperienced Cook

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Habanero ..."

"What's cookin', Tia Carmen?"

"Tastes great, less killing!"

Time for pancakes!

Mrs Jones's fish pie could be smelt for miles around!

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

'Have you been using that Hairy Bikers cookbook again'

'It's an acquired taste!'

Roadkill Restaurant

Egg Surprise

"Just remember...the main ingredient in all my dishes is love."