Adventure Cook Mugs

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

Horn of Leftovers

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

I made you a cake!

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"I'm unable to process this image."

The Inexperienced Cook

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Habanero ..."

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"What's cookin', Tia Carmen?"

Time for pancakes!

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

Mrs Jones's fish pie could be smelt for miles around!

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

Egg Surprise

Roadkill Restaurant

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

'It's an acquired taste!'

But I followed the recipe exactly.

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."