Adventure Cooking Pillows

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

Man's cooking explodes.

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

"I'm unable to process this image."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"Habanero ..."

"What's cookin', Tia Carmen?"

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

'It's an acquired taste!'

Roadkill Restaurant

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."

'You made me jump,'

"What's the 'Chef's Surprise'? That's his reaction when you actually eat it."

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."

Beef Wellingtons

Lunch-Hour Highlights

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"I'm all for the internet of things - but I hate pop-up ads."

"I'm following the paleo diet. Not that there's much choice, of course."

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

Baking