Admissions Warrior Gifts

'You have a good chance of recovery, if you can make it through hospital admissions.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

"Ted doesn't test well."

Studying and technology

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

Examiners.

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Beat me, kick me, make me do story problems.

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

'Yes, Frank. I'm sure you can make two hundred words out of just twenty six letters.'

"You know you're in trouble when you stop praying for the answers and start begging."

"'C' isn't EITHER the new 'A'!"

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

It seemed to Elsa that the advertising pop-ups become more and more intrusive day by day...

Boho Bribes

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

"At the motivational meeting, they told us to go big or go home."

'I'm worried -- It's getting harder and harder to qualify for Federal grants!'

'Come on. It's time to wage education.'

'Her special Talent is sulking.'