Adhesive Aficionado Gifts

Dueling Glue Guns: Glue unto Others as you would have them glue unto you.

"I think he's the guy that invented glue."

"I said you'd come to a sticky end someday!"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

Eat Beef

News for Sale

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Honesty in retail

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'It's more festive-looking!'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

"Here's the marketing department's solution."

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

SupermarketAwful Market.

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."