Adhesive Aficionado Pillows

Dueling Glue Guns: Glue unto Others as you would have them glue unto you.

"I think he's the guy that invented glue."

"I said you'd come to a sticky end someday!"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

Eat Beef

'It's more festive-looking!'

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Honesty in retail

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"Here's the marketing department's solution."

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

SupermarketAwful Market.

Patents office.

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

Man selling lamb weekly