Active Seniors Gifts

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'I'm fighting ageing.'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

Pensioner's Romance

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

'You're perfectly fit and healthy...but at your age...seriously, what's the point?'

Sunshine Retirement Villa: Pool, Golf, Tennis and Financial Planner.

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Computer Jobs

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

The over 80s ain't what they used to be!

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

As a louder and more satisfying alternative to clapping, Lily uses her bingo wings.

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'