Active Ager Gifts

'You're perfectly fit and healthy...but at your age...seriously, what's the point?'

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

Old snowboarder with a zimmerboard.

Breast Height Chart

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

Elderly People

"My cardiologist taught me the value of heart work."

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

Baldness Facts

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

An old lady Kitesurfing

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"You're this age and never had surgery? Aren't you curious?"

"I'm not worrying. I've got most of my money in handbaskets."

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

Middle Age Spread.

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

'Ageism at work'

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."