Action Cameraman Gifts

Filming on a surfboard

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

Cut!

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

"Hugh fans!"

Giraffe Selfie

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Canadian film production

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

Next camera crew 5 mins

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

Filming Christmas

Kirsten Johnson

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

Tim Burton

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

Stunt lemmings.

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

THE WICKERMAN (Hollywood style)