Acquaintance Gifts

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"'Birds of a feather flock together.' You hear what I'm saying, pal?"

"Wow, I can't believe it's already time for you guys to pick up on social cues that we'd like you to leave."

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

"So, Carol tells me you're a baby."

Don't Forget - August 24th is Stranger's Day!

"They're from Earth. I wonder if they know Dan?"

Misery pretends to like company.

'How's the garlic diet? Have you lost anything?'

"Better late than never, eh, Herb?"

"Well, if it isn't Douglas Whitson of 'I promise I'll get right back to you' fame."

The Wheel of No

'I've just discovered that the only loop I'm in, is the one I just got thrown for...'

'Remember, we don't have much time so don't ask them how they're doing.'

"Someone here to see you about a merger."

'Boy, this is a no-nonsense kind of place, isn't it?'

"Good Lord, whoes eaten all the nibbles?"

"Well you did say just pop in if you are in the area!"

"We have a new card line called 'It Must Be Nice'. Congratulate your friends, but with a hint of bitterness."

"We equipped him with name recognition technology."

"The early retirement was surprising, but he reached his level of incompetance much sooner than expected."

"No politics or religion. This party’s MYOB — Mind Your Own Business."

Special Cards for Special Friends

"I have a bad association with people."

A man walks into a house carrying a giant bomb

"Thank you for really letting me occasionally text you during my dark time."

"Drop by the next time you're in the eighties."

"How much should I pretend to care how they made their yams."

Tomb of the Unknown Plus-Ones

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"Have I ever hugged you, Elkins?"

NYNEX Caller ID Profile - Egbert J. Quilp - Born Jan. 9, 1949, in Armonk, N.Y. - Crashing Bore

"And then, having shaped up, he shipped out."

"Since we don't do payback dinners, how does eighty bucks sound for the reasonably decent evening I think we've all had?"

"We know them socially - not politically."