Social Media Acquaintance Gifts

Cat informs owner someone unfollowed her on social media.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Digital Fomo!

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Trick or Tweet

Network Extending from Buttonhole

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

How logos change over time.

"She looks just like in your photos."

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

The Thinker?

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."