Accident-prone Club Gifts

Misery Loves Co., Inc.

Worry tank

Beware of Falling Notice.

"You run into a window, too?"

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

Did you let the global warming skeptics into eco club? Yeah. It went fine. We agreed to work on today's environmental problems. We don't have to wait 50 years to clean up toxic waste dumps! Amen.

Rollerblader wears a cast and has wheels on crutches

"Too much club."

Tomorrow's our first eco club meeting. Yeah, I'm nervous! There are so many big issues!

Accident-Prone Support Group.

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"...Bug bites, barbecue and lawn mower...and you?"

Hey, Twig! Ryan Beardsley wants your cell phone number! The divine wonder of West Fester High? Finally! My life changes for the better. He needs activities for his college apps and wants to come to our shortest eco-club cleanup. Change you can believe in. West Fester High School.

Here's eco club's green-prom tip sheet. Let's see. Wear vintage clothing. Buy locally grown corsage flowers. Use biodegradable cups and plates. Eco club. This is so obvious. How about the tough stuff? Ok. Who knows where to recycle gel pads from push-up bras? The place that takes the fake hair extensions?

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

Broken ankle.

'Please! Take these and let my buddy go!!'

"I sprained it trying to open my medicine."

Just Do It. Just Did It.

I've got sharp pains in my ribs after playing sports.... - 'It's porbably muscular... just take pain killers.' - 'Could it be a cracked rib though?' - 'Possibly.' - 'What would I do if it was a cracked rib?' - 'Take more painkillers.' -

You're in luck! I'm the doctor who'll be patching you up after the match.

'Where the hell are my clubs ?'

The Old Good Cop/Bad Cop Routine.

Attack of footballs.

"Hazmat's been very good to me. But my first real love is still beekeeping."

"I raced a train to the level crossing. It was a tie."

Medical insurance reminder

"Sure, it's disgusting, but it's nice to have something that needs me."

'I would say that we have unearthed ancient hunting weapons.'

'I wanted to see which would run out first...battery power or idiots.'

Murphy and his brother 'sod' at work on their now famous law.

'So - what's your problem?'

"Sorry I didn't return your calls of earlier today."

"Oh, that's Mr Norris. He's our risk analyst."

Life on Earth - dog bandage.