Academia Analyst Gifts

'I'm worried that if I study too hard, I couldn end up being a teacher.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Ethics exam cheater.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Flags

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

Pretty Flowers

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

Eternal Student.

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."